Peace of Mind

Most of us don’t think or talk much about Peace of Mind. Perhaps because it seems out of reach, available only to the Mother Theresa’s and Mahatma Ghandi’s of the world.

Not so. The goal of this post is to encourage you to think about, talk about, and work towards greater Peace of Mind. Peace of Mind is not a far off pipe dream.

There are many paths. Some folks turn to nature. Take a walk in the woods, let the trees teach you. Some gravitate to religion. Some to food. Others to drugs, which offer the illusion of Peace of Mind, while most often leading you far astray.  This post draws from one of the most accessible paths possible. Mindful Conversation (MC) is a direct, all purpose path, light weight, easy to pack, all-weather and stain resistant. MC does not discriminate on the basis of language, economic status, ethnicity, geography, gender, or talent. It requires courage and effort, largely around the breaking of old habits, in order to embrace the possible. The rewards are life-long, freeing, and healthy – a gift to yourself, your family, colleagues, old friends and friends whom you may not yet have met.

I’d like to set the stage with a poem that I “reimagined”. I don’t claim to have created this poem. The basic concept dates back at least to Lao Tsu, (5th Century B.C. Chinese philosopher) and has been modified many times, but this version is mine:

Peace in My Heart

When there is peace in my heart,

There is peace in my home.

 

When there is peace in my home

There is peace in the field.

 

When there is peace in the field,

There is peace in the nation.

 

When there is peace in the nation,

There is peace in the world.

 

When there is peace in the world,

There is peace in my heart.

 

May there be peace all around

And may it find home within me.

Mindful Conversation as a path to Peace of Mind

We spend so much of our time engaged in conversation. But that conversation often becomes a stress creator, not a stress reducer, as it should and can be. When our speech is inauthentic, stress hormones hear the calling. When we fail to listen, peace loses its greatest tool. When we allow ourselves to become distracted by thoughts of past or future, we become like a stick tossed about in a raging river. When we abandon empathy and hear only the beat of our own heart, we isolate ourselves behind bars of our own making, no welcome bed for Peace of Mind.

Mindful Conversation shows us the path to avoid  these common pitfalls. We learn to make friends with our challenges and use them as an opportunity for growth, rather than as enemies to fight. I was talking to a friend, explaining a new workshop I was developing. He started telling me all the problems, why I shouldn’t do the workshop at all, or if I did, a better way to design it. My eyes narrow. My jaw tightens. Who does he think he is, anyway? I didn’t ask for and don’t want his advice. My arms tense, as if I’m readying for a fight. 

Peace of Mind gone. Stress moves into the driver’s seat.

One thing I’ve learned from my Mindful Conversation practice: stop and breathe when Peace of Mind is dislodged. Take a moment. Don’t say anything. Just be. I know where Peace lives. Go there. Mentally I change the channel. Do a short visualization of the mountain lake that I use as my symbol of Inner Peace. A slow smile replaces my scowl. Quickly centered once again, I drop the harsh words that were forming, use a brief reflective response, then say, “Thanks for your thoughts. I’ll consider them.”

I have listened. I have responded authentically. I feel the tension slip away.

Awareness

I still lose it at times, but I’ve learned that awareness is my friend. Awareness of my inner state (thoughts and feelings) and awareness of external stimuli, both of which can so easily distract me from my intention. Awareness brings me back into the moment, and ready to be the mindful conversationalist I want to be. Having a peace image (for me, it’s a serene mountain lake) that I can quickly bring into focus helps enormously. My intention is always to speak and listen with an open heart and calm mind. I am not always fully there, but I am steadfast with the intention. And I know my way back when I get lost.

Questions

Where is your awareness when you are in conversation? Do you have a way of bringing yourself back to center when you get triggered by what someone else says or does?